Choices
by Mird
Summary: Choose the right path to become the ultimate Mary Sue! This is your first, last and only time to read it before it disappears, because it’s not going to be updated! Don't read all at once! PS- Sorry!
1. Page 1

Page 1

Have you ever wondered why people write Mary Sue stories so often?

Because they think it be fucking AMAZING to have their favorite character fall in love with them! And to tell the truth, it probably would.

So take a break in your hatred of Mary Sues for just a short time to try out our latest product: How to be a Mary Sue!

You are Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, the Shining Royal Golden Peacock Alchemist.

To begin, choose one of the following and proceed to the corresponding page.

A) You have been Edward's friend since you were only small children. You haven't seen each other for years, until you meet up again during your regular duties of a state alchemist. Go to page 2.

B) Roy is your big brother. He thinks Ed needs a partnership, so he pairs the two of you up to go on a mission together. You don't like each other at first, but as time goes on... Go to page 3.

C) You have heard of the legendary Fullmetal Alchemist, but have never met him until one day, by fate, you meet together on a train...And you save him from hijackers! Go to page 4.

Note: FFnet only allows you to review each chapter once, so just keep reading until you get to an ending, and review there, then play again. Thank you.


	2. Page 2

Page 2

The sun is shining brightly. The birds are singing, though their lovely voices don't even hold a candle to your own. Shopping bag in hand, you walk down the street, looking left and right in constant awareness. Anyone could try to attack you at any moment; an assassin coming after the thrill of killing such a worthy opponent. A man coming after you for your sexy good looks, or, heaven forbid, an ASSASSIN coming after you for your sexy good looks.

So of course, when you feel someone run into you from behind, you drop your groceries immediately and lash out, giving a strong kick with a leg that Colonel Mustang would be proud of.

"Ow! Fuck! What was THAT for?! It's not my fault I ran into you and..."

He trails off, his amber orbs wide with shock. You know that you must be a mirror image, although your orbs are onyx/crimson/crystal/whatever color you think is hot.

You are shaking. Can it be? Is this really Edward Elric? You thought you'd never see him again. After leaving home at the tender age of seven to become a state alchemist after attempting to raise your dead sister, you thought you'd have to forget all about that amazing young boy whom you had loved so much. And yet, here he is, back again, almost as if led by fate.

You are nervous about revealing your true feelings. What if he doesn't return them? What if he loves that bitch, Wine-ry, or whatever the hell her name is, and not you?

If you want to run away and hope he comes after you, crazy with the rush of love-at-first-sight, go to page 5.

If you want to face your fears and tell him how you feel, go to page 6.


	3. Page 3

Page 3

You stand in the doorway of the office, staring with displeasure at your brother, Roy Mustang.

"Just finish the damn paperwork so we can go home," you say. He's been taking care of you for weeks now, ever since the death of your, and his, parents. Being in the military, you felt that you should have been strong enough to overcome these feelings of despair, but you couldn't bring yourself to do so.

"Hold on just a bit, Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie," he says with a sigh. He raises his gaze to see a boy sharing shoving past you through the doorway. "Ah, Fullmetal. You're here." He smirks. You know that smirk. "I need you to entertain my little sister here. Just speak with her in the hall for a moment, thanks. I'll be out SHORTly to bring her home with me."

You walk out the door, 'Fullmetal' glowering as he follows suit.

"So, Roy's your big bro, huh?" he says nonchalantly. "What cruel twist of fate stuck you with a bastard like him?"

You remain silent. Part of you believes you can trust him with the truth, but another part of you has the inexplicable urge to lie. After all, how could this boy understand the horrible, angsty, sobbity-sob story feelings you have about your parents and their oh-so-tragic death?

If you want to tell the truth, go to page 7.

If you want to lie, go to page 8.


	4. Page 4

Page 4

"Put your hands up if you want to live!"

You oblige, raising your hands above your head and giving the other people in the train a sidelong glance. You're prepared for anything; if the hijackers make one wrong move, you'll beat their asses off with your oh-so-wonderful state alchemist fighting skills.

They hold the gun up to the face of an innocent young boy with blond, braided hair, not unlike your own, and a red jacket. He backs away slightly in fear.

You know that he needs help. "Not so fast!" you yell, clapping your hands. Suddenly, the gun turns into a lovely red flower, which you present to the boy while kicking the hijacker in between the legs.

You soon realize that they boy is Edward Elric. Your smile grow wider.

"Wow, you're hot!" you exclaim.

He is shaking. He must be scared. Of course, anyone would be, seeing as-

"I DON'T NEED SAVING, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" he yells, and proceeds to punch the shit out of you. "AND HOW COME YOU DISOBEYED THE LAWS OF ALCHEMY BY TRANSMUTING A GUN INTO A FUCKING FLOWER??! THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! WHAT IDIOT WROTE THIS STUPID MARY SUE FIC, ANYWAYS!?!?!"

You don't hear this, though, because you have already died at the hard metal hand of this super-hot-main-character.

The End.

Wow, you died already? You must have really bad judgment! If you wanna play again, return to page one! But first, review! You'll get good luck if you review!


	5. Page 5

Page 5

You turn and run, frightened that he might not return your feelings. Although many believe that you have no fears of anything at all, they are sadly mistaken. You are desperately afraid of having your one true love not realized and-

You trip over a dead squirrel and fall over. Black Hayate has a potty break on your oh-so-lovely blonde hair.

Unfortunately, you are allergic to dog piss, so you slowly disintegrate. "I'm meeeeeeeeltiiiiiiiiing..." you say in a long, dramatic voice. Ed stand over you and watches with a smirk covering his face.

"Hooray!" Mird and Camille yell, high fiving each other. "One Mary Sue down, a few hundred to go!"

They scoop up the pile of ashes that is you and throw it in a blender with a couple of poison-filled starbursts and feed the whole concoction to their (hopefully former) music teacher, who dies instantly. Her last words are "don't put music in a box..." which absolutely no one takes seriously.

The End.

Damn, you suck at this! Kindly review and start over on page one. Thanks for playing!


	6. Page 6

Page 6

"Edward...I...I...I love you!" you exclaim, throwing your arms around his neck.

"Oh, Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, I remember you so well!" he whispers in your ear, his breath tickling your skin. "And I-"

Suddenly Scar appears out of nowhere, interrupting your beautiful moment! Ed prepares to fight, shoving you out of the way.

"Darling Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, do not fear! I will protect you!"

If you want to ignore Ed and fight Scar, go to page 9.

If you want to let Ed protect you, go to page 10.


	7. Page 7

Page 7

"My parents died in a car crash," you mumble, not meeting his eyes. I mean orbs. "Roy's been taking care of me since then. I m-miss them..." You quickly blink back tears. How could HE understand? Of course he can't.

He surprises you. He drapes his left arm around your shoulders and holds you tight. "It's okay," he says soothingly. "I know how you feel. I don't have any parents either."

"Hey, Fullmetal, Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie. You have a mission."

Roy cuts into your beautiful moments. You glare at him. If looks could kill...

"You have to investigate the town of Byswick. There's rumors of chimeras there."

If you choose to go on the mission, go to page 11.

If you choose not to go on the mission, go to page 12.


	8. Page 8

Page 8

"No reason," you lie.

"Oh?" he counters, his smirk not unlike that of your big brother. "I think your parents died in a car crash...Am I right?"

You are shocked. "Oh my!" you exclaim. "How could you figure it out?!?!"

His smirk grows bigger. "I can read minds...How else could I equal your amazing amount of skill and power? By the way, I also predict that you are going to die of a heart attack right about...Now."

You drop dead.

Somewhere, Kira is laughing.

The End!

Well, I guess Kira got another one! Thanks, Kira!

If you'd like to try again, return to page one. But don't forget to review!


	9. Page 9

Page 9

After an extremely epic battle that the Mary-Sue-fic author is too lazy to describe without stealing it from some random video game, Scar is dead and you are dying.

"Edward...I've...I've always loved you," you manage to say between choked gasps of breath. He is leaning over our nearly lifeless body, tears leaking from his golden orbs.

"Oh, Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, I love you too! You didn't have to sacrifice yourself for me..." he says, his voice strained and distressed. You try to reply, but your consciousness is fading far too quickly. He leans over and kisses you, your last memory of life.

The End.

Well, at least you died a noble death! And since you managed that, I'll give you a hint...There IS a way to win this! Go back to page one and start over...If you have good judgment and choose all the right choices, you will live a happy life with Edward and have three children! It's just a matter of finding it!


	10. Page 10

Page 10

You stand back and let Ed beat up Scar, or at least attempt to. After a few seconds, you fall asleep because of an oh-so-angsty, super secret special disease that makes you tired. Um, a lot. You cough a bit to prove you have previously mentioned disease. Then you faint.

When you wake up, Ed is dead.

"OH NO!" you say, super epically. "MY LOVE IS DEAD!" You start crying. Then Al walks up. He has his body back, because armor is icky and this author only likes cute things. And perfect people like you. You don't like being called cute because it implies that you're young, which makes you react like Ed being called short. Of course you must have a personality quirk that's similar to the main character!

Suddenly, you realize that Al is very hot, almost as much as Ed.

_"No,"_ you mentally kick yourself. _"Edward was my first love!...But still..."_

If you attempt human transmutation on Edward, your first love, go to page 13.

If you try to seduce Al, go to page 14.


	11. Page 11

Page 11

You choose to go on the mission.

The author is too lazy to show any details about the growing relationshit between you and Edward Elric, so just, uh, make up those details yourself. Cuz you LUUUVVVV each other.

You get on the train and fall asleep oh-so-romantically on Ed's shoulder.

Go to page 15.


	12. Page 12

Page 12

"I'm not going on that mission. I want to go back to Ed's hotel room and have sex with him."

Roy burns your head to a crisp.

"ED WAS GONNA HAVE SEX WITH -ME- TODAY, BITCH!"

The End.

Ohh, bad girl! You shouldn't have stolen your big brother's love interest! YAOI IS AWESOME, LOLZ!

Go back to page 1 to erase this horrible happening. But first, review! Yeah, thanks!


	13. Page 13

Page 13

Al has magically poofed away, because he's no longer important to the scene.

You find all the ingrediants for human transmutation located conveniently in a nearby trash can.

Suddenly, blablabla and the gate and you lose...Uh...Something that makes your life poetically angsty, not gory...Um, your voice! Yeah, cuz mute ppl r hot, lolz.

Suddenly, Ed wakes up, because of course your voice and only your voice was proper equivalent exchange. And a leg and a whole fucking body wasn't. Yeah, that makes sense!

Ed stared up at you, and suddenly, you are afraid. What if he's scared of you without your bee-yoo-tee-full voice?

If you choose to run away like the idiot you are, go to page 16.

If you choose to stay and make sure your loved one is okay, go to page 17.


	14. Page 14

Page 14

"Oh, Alphonse," you say sexily, one hand trailing up his chest, the other one unbuttoning your own shirt. "I lov-"

"BACK OFF, BITCH!" Ed's ghost smacks you upside the head and you die of shock.

The End.

Hmm, this is probably the quickest, least painful way to die...But if you'd like to try again, and probably die again, go back to page 1! And review, while you're at it!


	15. Page 15

Page 15

You and Ed step off the train, hand in hand. You are girlfriend and boyfriend, after just meeting about three hours ago.

You hear growling in the bushes. You think it's just a dog and keep going. But it's not.

Suddenly, a chimera jumps out, heading straight for Ed!

You are frozen with shock. There may be enough time to jump in front of him and save his life...But can you find the strength?

If you want to jump in front of him to save his life, go to page 18.

If you don't think there's enough time and are completely frozen in place, go to page 19.


	16. Page 16

Page 16

You run, trying to get away from him before he wakes up. How could this happen? How could he possibly love you without your voice, which is like a million tinkling bells, or a thousand birds singing? How could-

You run into the street and get run over by a car. You have no voice, so your last words are only in your head.

The End.

Ah, how sad. Is your love strong for Edward strong enough for you to want to try again? If so, review and then return to page 1.


	17. Page 17

Page 17

You cradle his head in your arms, watching with a heavy heart as he sleeps, worrying that he may never awaken.

Your worries are for nothing, though, because after only a short time, his eyes flutter open and he stares at your hope-filled face, miraculous excitement in his eyes.

'Edward...?' You feel the words on your lips, but no sound comes out. He looks confused as he sits up.

Suddenly, insanity fills his eyes. "N-no!" he screams, foaming at the mouth. "I need to awaken to the voice of my beloved!"

He transmutes his automail into a blade and stabs you though the chest.

You can't even scream.

The End.

Is it just me, or is this story making less and less sense? Oh well.

Review and return to page 1 if you'd like to try again. I'll give you a hint: 1, 3, 7...Those are the first three numbers to eternal happiness with your darling Edward.


	18. Page 18

Page 18

You feel the claws of the chimera slash across your stomach. You gasp in pain, flying backwards into your beloved's waiting arms. You see the flash of frightened surprise on his face, and everything goes black.

* * *

When you wake up, the first thing you see is the blank, white ceiling above your not-quite-comfortable bed.

"Ah, Ms. Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, you're awake," a nurse with a kind voice says. You don't answer. "Mr. Elric has been trying to come in and see you for hours. Would you like us to let him in?"

You consider it. You're not quite sure; what will he say to you? What will you say to him? You just saved his life, but what if he's guilty for the mistake?

If you want to let him in, go to page 20.

If you don't want to let him in, go to page 21.


	19. Page 19

Page 19

You watch, paralyzed in shock, as the chimera slashes his claw right through Edward's chest. You hear his strangled screaming and you see the bright red blood that has been sprayed all over the street. People are screaming, fleeing the scene of chaos. You can't bring yourself to move.

The chimera seems to have lost interest. He turns his head to you and he seems to smile. He takes a running jump and...

You know no more.

* * *

You are at the gate.

I'm too lazy to explain so just, uh, guess. By the way, you've always had mysterious dreams about the gate that are probably linked to your mysterious...oops, I already said mysterious, oh well, repeating words is cool...disease. Oh, wait, did I mention the disease yet? Hmm...I don't remember. Oh well! You have a mysterious dream and it makes you...tired. And cough a lot and stuff. And it gives you weird dreams about the gate.

Which you are staring at right now.

Yup.

"Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie," a creepy voice says. It makes you scared, because creepy voices are another one of your secret hidden fears. "You have lived a full life, giving to those who are below you. I will give you two choices...You can die and come into the gate in exchange for returning Ed's missing limbs...Or you can come back to life and find him again, although it will cost one of your arms. The choice is yours."

If you want to die so that Ed can have his limbs back, go to page 22.

If you want to keep living in exchange for your arm, go to page 23.


	20. Page 20

Page 20

"Let him in," you say, sitting up straighter. The nurse nods and opens the door.

Edward stumbles in, his eyes wide. "Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie," he says worriedly. "Are you okay?"

You pause. A smile grows across your face and you nod. "I'm fine. And you're okay too. That's all I could ask for."

He smiles too. "Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, I love you. And you saving my life has made me realize just how HAWT you are. Would you like to have sex in this hospital bed, less than a day after we first met?"

If you say "Yes," go to page 24.

If you say "No," go to page 25.


	21. Page 21

Page 21

You don't let him in.

You die of extreme constipation.

The End.

Sheesh, what a shitty way to die! Review, then start over on page 1.


	22. Page 22

Page 22

You are a noble Mary Sue whose sole purpose is to help solve the main character's problems, so you sacrifice yourself to the gate so that Edward can have his limbs back.

As you are floating through the gate, preparing whatever death holds, you see your last vision of Earth.

Ed, with his limbs back. Winry, rejoicing. Edward and Winry kiss.

You see no more.

The End.

Aww, poor widdle Mary Sue died such a depressing death to save her beloved, only to see him kiss another girl...How sad.

Would you like to start over? Review and go to page 1.


	23. Page 23

Page 23

You shriek in pain. The stump that used to be your arm is bleeding profusely, staining the street beneath you. We're going to skip the gory details because Sue-fic authors don't have enough creativity to think of synonyms for 'bleed'.

_Six months later_

You have automail. Winry Rockbell made it for you, free of charge, seeing as you have no money.

Because of course, you could get automail installed in six months when even Edward Elric took a year.

And of course, Winry wouldn't charge you, a complete stranger, even though she always charges Edward, her best friend.

Anyways, Winry tells you lots of stories about Ed. She doesn't know that you were his girlfriend for almost twenty four hours before your oh-so-depressing death.

"Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie, guess what?" she exclaims one day. "You know Edward, who I've told you so much about? He's coming here for automail repairs soon. You finally get to meet him!"

You smile and say nothing.

Inside, you are throwing a party.

A very perfect, sophisticated party, of course.

Go to page 26.


	24. Page 24

Page 24

You and Edward have a lemon.

Eh, I don't care how old you are. Who knows?

Anyways.

You had a lemon.

Yupyup.

Uh.

Yeah.

_A couple months later...Or, IDK, however long it takes to have a baby..._

Edward placed his metal hand on your back, smiling. "You're a mother now," he says quietly. You nod, smiling too.

It is your first look at the baby.

"...Holy shit," you say. "It's green!"

"How can it be? What does it mean? It's atrocious, it's obscene-"

It is indeed green.

No, not Elphaba. Even though I stole Wicked lyrics.

"ARGH, AN ALIEN BA-"

It's too late. The alien baby fires it's laser gun and the entire hospital explodes.

The End.

Oh dear. You died! Is this your first time?

Well, doesn't matter! Review and return to page 1 to try again.


	25. Page 25

Page 25

Edward, your oh-so-caring boyfriend, spends weeks nursing you back to health. He hand-feeds you when you're feeling too weak to do anything on your own, and when you are ready to be released, he rejoices with you.

If you'd like to see the continuation of this extremely short part of your epic relationshit with Edward Elric, go to page 27.


	26. Page 26

Page 26

"Hey, Winry! Hey-" Edward stops short, dropping his suitcase. "Holy shit," he whispers, just barely loud enough for you to hear. "You look exactly like my old girlfriend, Minerva Lily Hermione Bella Rosalie!"

"Really? How strange! I-"

"Well, it doesn't matter!" he cuts you off. "Winry's my girlfriend now, haha!" Winry smiles and holds his hand. You stare, dumbfounded, as they go into the next room.

Go to page 29 to see what happens next.


	27. Page 27

Page 27

You are released from the hospital. You never completed your mission, but your big brother, Roy Mustang, phoned the hospital while you were unconscious and informed Edward that someone else would be finishing that job.

"I've been thinking," he says on the train ride back to Central. "Being in the military is such a dangerous job. Either of us could die at any moment. Should we quit?"

You think it might be a good idea...But what would Roy say?

If you want to quit, go to page 31.

If you don't want to quit, go to page 30.


	28. Page 28

Page 28

Congrats! You have unlocked the path to 'The Ultimate Mary Sue!' You found the Philosopher's stone, so you and your darling Edward are immortal because old people are icky. You live in a quaint little house in Resembool, or Resinboul, or however the hell you spell it, and have seven children and a dog.

Everyone who managed to get here, REVIEW! You have found eternal happiness!

THE END


	29. Page 29

Page 29

You gold your ear up to the door and hear low voices inside. There is a clattering sound as if someone was moving around. Probably just Winry getting some tools out. But still...

You have suspicions of what they might be doing inside.

If you want to open the door and see what's going on, go to page 32.

If you don't want to open the door, go to page 33.


	30. Page 30

Page 30

"We should stay," you say finally. He nods, although it is hesitant.

For months, your relationshit with him grows, and neither of you come close to death...Or at least, not close enough to worry anyone.

But a year after your decision to stay, Edward is called to war. You silently angst and become an emo, because emos are HAWT.

Then Ed dies.

You don't give a shit.

Go to page 34.


	31. Page 31

Page 31

"We should quit," you say. He agrees.

It takes over a week to fill out the resignation paperwork, and Roy is resentful of your decision, but in the end...

To see what happens next, go to page 28.


	32. Page 32

Page 32

You open the door and peer tentatively inside.

Ed is sitting leisurely on the table, with Winry standing next to him. Their eyes are closed and they are kissing.

Just a kiss.

Just an innocent little kiss.

But even that is too much for you.

You run into the room, screaming insanely, grab a random sharp object that belongs to Winry and shove it through your stomach.

The last words you hear are Edward saying "What the fuck?"

The End.

Review and return to page 1 if you'd like to try again.


	33. Page 33

Page 33

You decide not to look.

You wander into the kitchen, waiting for Ed to be done with whatever he's doing (it's this thought that makes you wonder if your choice was correct) so that you can talk to him and remind him of all the good times-

There he is. He's stepping out of the room right now.

You run up to him and, before you can think it over, throw your arms around him, holding him close. You ignore the violated expression on his face and begin to kiss him passionately.

To see what happens next, go to page 35.


	34. Page 34

Page 34

You don't give a shit that Ed is dead. Instead, you get a new boyfriend, because you are a bitch.

Havoc is your new boyfriend.

Who cares that he's more than twice your age?

You start making out with him the second he steps into the room and...Uh...

Go to page 36.


	35. Page 35

Page 35

Winry steps out of the room, shaking with anger.

"THAT'S...MY...BOYFRIEND!!!" she yells, throwing a wrench at your head.

The contact instantly escalates the amount of brain damage you've suffered to a point even higher than when you started out. You become nothing more than a drooling vegetable, immediately thrown in the river by newlyweds Edward and Winry Elric.

The End.

Wow, not that lucky, are you?

If you'd like to start again, review and return to page 1.


	36. Page 36

Page 36

You neglected to acknowledge the fact that Havoc had a cigarette in his mouth when you started kissing him. You choke on the cigarette and die.

Havoc gets up and goes to Ed's grave, where he discovers that Ed never actually died. Ed goes to Resembool and makes babies with Winry.

The End.

If you'd like to start over, review and return to page 1.


	37. Page 37

Page 37

Congrats!

You found the super secret special page!

That's right; nowhere in this story does it say 'If you'd like to ____, go to page 37.'

This page is unattached to the rest of the story! Since you were smart enough to find it, you get a special gift. The key to how to win eternal happiness in this fic:

1-3-7-11-15-18-20-25-27-31-28


End file.
